something to ponder
an excerpt from some email:
"Have you ever wondered which hurts the most? Saying something and wishing you hadn't?, or Saying nothing and wishing you had? I guess the most important things are the hardest things to say.Don't be afraid to tell someone you love them. If you do, they might break your heart...if you don't, you might break theirs.
Have u ever decided not 2 become a couple because you were so afraid of losing what you already had with that person? Your heart decides whom it likes and whom it doesn't. You can't tell your heart what to do. It does it on its own........when you least suspect it, or even when you don't want it to."
i dunno why i copied it in here, totally irrelevant with myself = =" aniwaes, to those who visited my blog, its for you ^O^ hope its beneficial, in some ways :)
these few days had been quite packed fer me, rushing work, having driving practicals and meetups with frens. there was a time whereby i even needed help for someone to just come to my house and help me water my plants and feed my fishes, as my parents went to m'sia and theres no 1 at home. so i tried to ask the only person i could think of at the moment and only 1 whom i trust and had the key to my house, through the most un-invading way, by sending msg thru MSN. think the person is too bz with her life as well that she didn't even login to MSN at all for 2 days.. (i shalln't anihow assume, right?) = ="
so the fishes went hungry and plants thirsty fer a day.. they still looked alive to me :P and oh ya, i finally booked my TP~~^O^ if everything goes smoothly, i should be getting my license by 18 Jan 07 (why did i choose this date.. o_O) haha
aniwaes, yesterday went to watch "the little man", a very funny movie i must say. but unfortunately i missed some part of the show because i kinda dozed off :P no thanks to that drunk "stranger" who slept throughout the movie right after she finished up her popcorn :x kinda influenced by her since she slept so soundly.. and im abit tipsy myself = =" tat day is the 1st time i saw her wear a skirt and put on make-up, only proved to show that theres no such thing as an ugly woman, only lazy ones :P
"Have you ever wondered which hurts the most? Saying something and wishing you hadn't?, or Saying nothing and wishing you had? I guess the most important things are the hardest things to say.Don't be afraid to tell someone you love them. If you do, they might break your heart...if you don't, you might break theirs.
Have u ever decided not 2 become a couple because you were so afraid of losing what you already had with that person? Your heart decides whom it likes and whom it doesn't. You can't tell your heart what to do. It does it on its own........when you least suspect it, or even when you don't want it to."
i dunno why i copied it in here, totally irrelevant with myself = =" aniwaes, to those who visited my blog, its for you ^O^ hope its beneficial, in some ways :)
these few days had been quite packed fer me, rushing work, having driving practicals and meetups with frens. there was a time whereby i even needed help for someone to just come to my house and help me water my plants and feed my fishes, as my parents went to m'sia and theres no 1 at home. so i tried to ask the only person i could think of at the moment and only 1 whom i trust and had the key to my house, through the most un-invading way, by sending msg thru MSN. think the person is too bz with her life as well that she didn't even login to MSN at all for 2 days.. (i shalln't anihow assume, right?) = ="
so the fishes went hungry and plants thirsty fer a day.. they still looked alive to me :P and oh ya, i finally booked my TP~~^O^ if everything goes smoothly, i should be getting my license by 18 Jan 07 (why did i choose this date.. o_O) haha
aniwaes, yesterday went to watch "the little man", a very funny movie i must say. but unfortunately i missed some part of the show because i kinda dozed off :P no thanks to that drunk "stranger" who slept throughout the movie right after she finished up her popcorn :x kinda influenced by her since she slept so soundly.. and im abit tipsy myself = =" tat day is the 1st time i saw her wear a skirt and put on make-up, only proved to show that theres no such thing as an ugly woman, only lazy ones :P
posted by bRian at 1:13 PM
4 Comments:
Well its good that you have someone with you to watch movie & get drunk together in the cinema. Since the so called "stranger" had been in your life for quite sometime as i have seen in a few of your posts, Thinking that this person must be someone who likes you or maybe you likes her accompanied.
Think maybe you are just in a dilema of who to love. Maybe or perhaps 18th sept isn't for us, well i duno. Maybe you can just try out with that "stranger" since both of you seems like kinda click, tats just a one view opinion. Kindly dun take it to heart.
That's all. Take care~!
poor little fish and plants, bad owner! ;P
dizzo: *kokSh* u think i wan meh..
piggie: its nt my 1st time to be drunk watching movie, i remembered once vividly i even brought a bottle of red wine to watch a movie with frens and finished it up almost single-handedly before the show ended.
yes, i do enjoy her company, juz like how u enjoyed with ur dardar. but FYI i'll never address someone so close as "dardar" or dear unless we were an item. and i only opened up long after the presence of the dardar, jom, roger and whomever im unaware of or missed out. i think im entitled to my welfare, rather than keep dwelling over it and affecting my work and all the pple who cared about me.
and no, im never in a dilemma whom im in love with. tats why im truly hurt by wateva the lady did in order to enjoy and announce her singlehood. but whenever i wanna give her up, her slight sense of jealousy, proving im still somewhere in her heart, pulled me back again.
sad to say, all the moments we were together after the breakup, she never realli smiled in front of me before. imagine she could talked and laughed while chatting with other pple over the line, but once the phone hanged and she looked back at me, its all emotionless, sian or tired again.
so wat am i in her eyes? another Eddie? another dardar? or in a class of my own to fill up spaces in between and be a white carrot? wat had i done to become this state? yes i may had hurt her deeply before, shouldn't my heartfelt remorse and things i did to repent at least smoothed out some of the rough edges? she could cry when she's being rebuked for only looking a certain fren up when she's in need of company. end state she treasured him even more and close until he could sleep over in her room with just a stupid excuse.
frankly speaking, i do not think i deserve all the treatment i get for a wrong which is not as serious as beating up, scolding vulgarities, two-timing, one night standing her.. u noe wad i mean. R, C are all histories, but she's not to me, tats why i held on so dearly after all the ordeal and pain i went through.
18 Sept is a special date to me, unfortunately im unable to make it free fully to plan out a nice and memorable event for both of us. anyway the ball is all along in her court.
Ya, I think u should enjoy the welfare you have. Maybe its time for you to enjoy all the welfare you wanted to have all along.
Maybe or perhaps jealousy is not in my dictionary...well i duno but wat i can feel is envy. I envy you so many things, all the childhood you have, all the nice friends you have, all the supporters u always have with you. These are not jealousy but envious in so many things & people around you. With less effort you just got it but I put so much effort Im just still not like you. I have no childhood, not much good friends & not much supporters as well.
After so many things happen in my life, I realli very tired & sian in everything i do, even work or any friends in my life. But my friends did nothing wrong for me to show my unhappiness to them rte~!! Therefore I always smile to Others anywhere I go, either at work or on the fone im always so cheerful in appearance. But when im having my own time, I wana be myself. I am not happy in life as before. Now i know i no longer will be happy as what i used to be coz i cant...well its for now..how long it takes to heal, i dunno. Really hope it wont take long coz I am realli tired aso. But still I cant be happy although I look like one. I have tried to be happy but Im still not. Im a emotionless person.
Well, announcing to singlehood is good for both of us .. isnt it~! U can have your way of life. The way u want it to be...freedom all u want, u can have it all now. U shd be enjoying them...rather have someone who give u & ur friends so much dislikes & burdens. Maybe u can find someone tat your friends & u will like bah. Well, pretty not sure about that. But if u do find someone, I wish u all the best, truely from the bottom of my heart.
Even though if i regret on my decision, I will never tell you becoz I dun wan you to be sad or hurt again by my undecisive decision. Although Love is selfish but i will not want the one i used to love be sad or hurt. Whether the feelings for me to you will come stronger & confident for us to be together again a not, truely, if you find someone better than me and will be more understanding and well liked by all ur educated friends, just go ahead.
Im just someone who is not realli educated and dislike by many. Im emotionless, baddie(perhaps? i dunno) & dull plus no life person. Someone like u who likes clubbing, enjoying life to the max, so many friends to entertain and life full of nice surprises, shouldnt have someone like me in ur life to drag u down the hill. Well, tats all I think i wana say now. Not in a mood to say further. Gdnite~!
Post a Comment
<< Home